Friday, December 2, 2011

To The Best Husband and Daddy

I am truly a lucky woman. And, Sarah is a lucky kid.

Not only did I marry a wonderful man who is also my best friend, but he also happens to be a super great dad too.

Since we have been together over nine years, Daniel and I have become a well-oiled machine. It took time for us to really get to know each other over the years, learning, understanding and appreciating our quirks and idiosyncrasies, seeing how each of us is as individuals and developing together like a fine wine aspires to be.

The same holds true for parenting. It sometimes has become an unspoken language between us where if one of us does one task the other person takes on another responsibility to help.

I feel it is important, and Daniel agrees, that Sarah needs to know and see that both mommy and daddy can make dinner, do the dishes, give baths, take out the garbage, go grocery shopping, and more, and that specific tasks are not just the responsibility of one parent or a specific gender.

It's also very important to help children understand that men and women play various roles in a relationship, and especially as parents, and that we share in the tasks and responsibilities of running a household, working, and parenting together.

Therefore, I really AM a lucky woman. Daniel steps in and helps and I greatly appreciate him for it.

When I became a mommy, I was so convinced that I could do it all, at least relatively speaking. Over time I realized that as much as I wanted to do everything with Sarah it just wasn't possible. I needed to let some things go and let Daniel play a part too.

Often times moms bond sooner with their babies, especially when breastfeeding is involved. Therefore, dads or partners have to find others way bond with their children and we have to help make that happen.

So, in order for Sarah to forge a bond with her daddy it was necessary for me to give up things, even if I liked doing them, and enable Daniel to partake in some parenting duties (e.g., drop off /pick up from school) to be a special part of her life.

As a result, I have gotten much better at asking for help from Daniel when I need it, realizing that I do need to share Sarah and our time. Daniel and I plan regularly to determine how we can carve out time for each of us individually, time with Sarah, and time for dates.

Parenting is a tough job. And, it is really challenging for parents who don't have support or need to find support with other family and friends. I am thankful for Daniel being such a wonderful husband and father. Sarah and I are both very lucky to have him in our lives and he makes us laugh on a regular basis.

I am truly blessed to have a man in my life who allows me to be me, quirky and all, who enables me to be independent too and helps me when I need it. It's these important qualities of our relationship that Sarah continues to witness so that she can learn that a loving relationship is partnership filled with respect, trust, loyalty, and lots of laughs.

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