Saturday, December 4, 2010

Children and Separation Anxiety

As you know, I have since made a major move and relocation with my husband, daughter and geriatric cat to a new city, new home, new job, and new school.

For Sarah, especially, this means new friends and new teachers too. And, much of this can be a bit overwhelming for a little kid to handle.

As previously written here at Mommy's Point of View, these first couple of weeks of daycare drop off have been somewhat challenging helping Sarah to get adjusted. It has been getting better as each day progresses. I know. I know. This all takes time. However, one day in the car getting ready to go to school Sarah said something to me that just about broke my heart.

I will tell you more of this shortly. You need to hold out for just a little bit.

First, let me mention that typically when I drop Sarah off at school I help to get settled in with dropping off her school bags at her cubby, going with her to put lunch in the fridge and helping to get her set up for breakfast. It's after all of this that I then try to leave after getting my hugs and kisses from her. Then, the tears and howling begin and "noooooo mommy, don't leave" begins.

So, back to the car.

Sarah said to me, "Mommy I don't want to have breakfast anymore because when I do you leave."

I just nearly teared up at that moment hearing her say this to me. I did my very best to help her understand and remind her that mommy or daddy would definitely be picking her up at school at the end of the day and that we will indeed be having breakfast together during the weekends and that school days are just a little bit different.

I am pretty sure it's an age thing. Research shows that children at this age go through feelings of abandonment and separation anxiety.

So, I just continue to do my best to help Sarah know that mommy and daddy love her very much and that at the end of each school day one or both of us will indeed be picking her up. Ironically, tonight Sarah said that she said she knows now that we come to get her at the end of the day and that that's her favorite part of the day.

What has your experience been? Any insights or thoughts you want to share?

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