Our move to the suburbs is complete. And, with this comes a lot of newness. As you can imagine, for a child this can be daunting and exciting all at the same time.
Therefore, it should come as no surprise that taking Sarah to daycare each morning for the past four school days has been somewhat challenging. Even after taking Sarah to see her new school before the move and talking about this change with her well before the move, still it is scary for her. I can understand that with new faces including teachers, parents and kids this can be overwhelming.
I need to keep reminding myself of this.
Fortunately, Sarah does not kick and scream to get into the car to go to school. In fact, she's excited to go. Once we are in school she's fine too. Taking off her coat, putting her food in the fridge, and roaming around she likes to do. It's when it's time for her to sit down and have breakfast and I need to leave for work that Sarah has her full on meltdowns.
Let me emphasize, Sarah has been in daycare for a good part of her life. So, for her, she's used to going to school for a long day and spending it with teachers and friends.
However, again, newness is certainly making it scary.
So, I have had to tell the teachers each day to "rip off the band aid."
While this happens, in the swells of my body my heart aches and my stomach hurts. On the outside I have to keep my composure as I will either lose it or make Sarah even more upset if she sees mommy with tears. It's so hard to do this. Sometimes I just want to scoop Sarah up and say let's go and we'll see you tomorrow. Clearly, I can't do that. And, since I then call school later in the day to find that Sarah is doing well I can continue. Sarah seems to like it there. She has had the occasional moment of sadness but all in all seems to be enjoying it.
I know that this will get better with time for both of us. In the meantime, I write this feeling such guilt, pain and anguish. I know that this too shall pass.
Still, the daycare drop-off drama wakes me from sleep in the morning before the alarm goes off hoping and praying that that day will be different. Here's to hoping that Sarah will make new friends soon and be excited to go and want to stay at school.
I love that Sarah wants to be with me, and Daniel. Sometimes I used to think how is it she's not mad at us or lashing out at us for leaving her at school for such long hours in the day. But, she still leaps into our arms at the end of each day and that makes it alright.
Tomorrow is another day. Oh, wait. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and school is closed through the weekend. Here's to hoping Monday will be a good daycare drop off. And, if it's not, I just need to remain strong and know that in time it will get better.