Sunday, August 15, 2010

Mommy Confessional: Am I a Good Parent?

As many of you know parenting children is hard work. There are many times we experience great and wonderful moments and some instances (where we don't like to admit) that there are some not so super situations too.

So, considering this, I have decided to institute a specific topic entitled "Mommy (and Daddy) Confessionals" every once in a while. This is designed to help remind us that as parents there are many of us that ride in this boat. Parenting is a tough job and every day or every moment is not always as we hope it to be. Children have bad days and meltdowns, and we do too.

I encourage you to come by and share your confessions and experiences here at Mommy's Point of View, or share with me via email, as I have come to realize that sharing these instances and learning from them is cathartic, therapeutic and eye-opening.

So, here goes.

Well over six months ago I did something I was not readily willing to admit, except to my husband. Since then, I have told my mom (and got much consoling) and recently with some close friends (not yet parents but who gave me their honest opinion giving me peace of mind). In fact, writing this now seems silly but still I think it's important to share since we are all human. We make mistakes. We just have to find the lessons in them and learn from them.

Sarah and I were gearing up to go somewhere by car. I don't remember exactly where we were going, whether it was a kid’s party, play date or a routine trip to the grocery store.

Sarah happily climbed into her car seat. At the time I must have been too tired, fumbling with a bunch of bags, distracted by our surroundings, or some other reason (for no good reason).

With both of us in the car, mirrors adjusted, key in the ignition, I proceeded to pull out of the parking garage. Sarah and I were chatting and started listening to music, all of which were part of our routine.

As I pulled out of my spot, having gone a very short distance before the exit my heart then skipped a beat. I had only then just realized that while Sarah was in her car seat, I (the parent) failed to buckle her in.

Panicked by what happened (thinking of what could have happened had I not realized and continued driving with risk of a potential accident), beating myself up for forgetting this important safety precaution, I immediately stopped, pulled the car over, put the hazard lights on, and buckled Sarah in.

I then told Sarah, as if a two-year-old could really comprehend this, to make sure that in the future she reminds me that we are both in our seat belts.

What I am about to say is going to sound dramatic, but when this experience happened, on the verge of tears, the internal torment began. Beating myself up continued throughout the day until I came home and shared what happened with my husband.

Realizing now, this situation was an innocent and honest mistake one that I have to admit is with me each and every time Sarah and I get in the car. I have not missed a beat regardless of reason when buckling her in and have stopped beating myself up about it. I learned and moved on.

Sometimes it takes certain experiences, and thankfully this was not a harmful situation (counting my blessings) to set us straight.

Any confessions you want to share?

1 comment:

  1. I did that once! We were in a hurry to go somewhere and I forgot to buckle my preschooler. After I pulled over (seconds from the driveway) I scolded him for not telling me I had forgot! Of course, then I also felt bad for yelling. I apologized to him right away and explained why mommy was upset and how it really wasn't his fault.

    Its hard work being a parent! Its also hard to remember that I'm not really a super hero and I do make mistakes sometimes.

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